my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
