Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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