i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
