i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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