I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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