i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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