How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
