I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
