It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
