So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
she looked like the before picture.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
