Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
