so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
