U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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