Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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