private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
