I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
