in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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