is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I use my feet as sexual weapons
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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