yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
