Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
