Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
