please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
