I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
