just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
