I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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