I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Let the clothes fall where they may.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
