Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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