Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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