Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just google imaged poop.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
