he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
