She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
