You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
