We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
