I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Never let your siblings swipe right.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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