So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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