theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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