first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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