just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
