Only a mothe r could love this liver
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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