It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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