So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
