He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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