Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
