playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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