its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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