I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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