I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
