Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
