Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
