Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
