At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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