it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
