I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
