Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
