well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
