I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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