I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
