i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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