I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
