But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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